Thursday, September 17, 2015

Thinking out loud ~ Thankful edition

Yesterday sucked for me...I have days when everything seems impossible where if I take a shower it is a huge accomplishment. A couple years ago I was stuck in bed for days on end with depression, without going into all the details, I just wanted to die.  I got to rock bottom and learned there was a deeper level of rock bottom.  So today I have so much to be thankful for. 

Yesterday, is gone, today is my bitch!!!  

I am thankful for my children who never give up on me!!!

I am thankful for my doctors who listen to me and keep me supplied with Ambien. 

I am thankful for Prissy, she is my sunshine when skies are gray!!!


I am thankful for Pinterest. Why?  I think it is the easiest way to type in a word and there are literally thousands of motivational, inspirational, and humorous things that instantaneously lift my spirits...


I am thankful for not having to work anymore!!!!!!  This is what has ultimately changed my life the past couple years. I have simplified my life so I do not have to.  I have worked ever since I was able to work.  I went into the military when I was 18, spent the next twenty three years in law enforcement.  I was tired, I was depressed, I was just not enjoying life or my family.  Things had to change.



I am thankful that my car gets me to and from where I need to be.  I am thankful that I have good running socks and shoes.  I am thankful that I have raised my children to realize that things are just that things.  Time is the most priceless possession there is and to use it wisely.  I am thankful for peanut butter.  I am thankful that I sit here today and type this list because I never thought I would be able to sit and be happy.  I am thankful that God chose to make me live when I wanted to die.  I am thankful for my story. I am thankful that I walked away from police work and the only injuries I ever sustained were some bruises and cuts.  I am thankful that the bullets that went flying in my direction never hit me.  I am thankful that after I have put my friends through so much hell the last few years they are still by my side. I am thankful that six months ago I met my friend, Cat, who had been fighting addiction for years, is now six months clean and a friend for life.  I am thankful for an ice cold Coke after a long run.

One day I will detail my fight with depression, hopefully sometime this month because September is suicide prevention month.  The statistic that always sticks in my mind about this month is 22 Veterans will commit suicide today.  Which is 8,030 U S Veterans a year.  This is a problem.

I am thankful that my readers will not judge!!!!! 

What are a few things you are thankful for today?
Were you aware of the staggering suicide rate for U S Veterans?
Have you or a family member ever suffered from depression?




11 comments:

  1. Thank you for your honest post. I am glad you can see the bright side and all the things in your life to be thankful for.

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  2. One of the reasons I started running 25 years ago was to keep those demons away. I had bad anxiety and depression. I still struggle with both from time to time, but running really helps me. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks Wendy. If you ever need someone I am here!!

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  3. So glad you are in a better place, and that running has helped you to overcome some of your struggles. That is one of the things I love about running! This post is full of great reminders.

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    1. Thanks Lisa. I am so much better now not 100% but working hard to get there

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  4. I wonder sometimes how much stigma we could lift regarding depression and other mental health issues if we would just be more open with our stories. Instead we all (myself included) hide them because we're afraid someone will think we're weak or crazy or some other nonsense. Thank you for sharing! Glad you're in a better place!

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  5. I am not ashamed, it is an illness just like cancer, unfortunately people are ashamed. I want people to be honest, I think Robin Williams death made a lot of people realize the extent of mental illness.thank you

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  6. Running saves me from dark places. Especially after I had my second baby. I think it is was lifted me out of depression, or at least was a major help! You have a pretty kitty! i am thankful for my two healthy kids. I wish I could sleep better, no problems falling asleep it is the staying asleep. I usually wake up about 330. sometimes like today I am up at 230 and there is no falling back asleep. so frustrating!

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  7. Like other people said, running keeps me from my depression that I struggle with in high school. I love this honest post!

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    1. Thanks Meghan. I try to bring awareness and let people know that depression is not a weakness, it is a disease

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